Leaning Into the Adversity in Sports

Not every kid’s goal is to win the state championship. But there are important lessons for athletes and parents in sports that you can pull away and apply to life simply by leaning in a little. #DailyMight

Parents play an integral part in an athlete’s enjoyment of youth sports. The thoughts, ideas, and words of parent’s (and coaches too) influence an athlete’s experience more than we’d like to think. So when adversity hits, which it’s bound to in a season, how parents act and react – and instruct – their athletes in that adversity makes all the difference.

It’s probably best we break up youth sports into age groups. This is beneficial for a variety of reasons, but the best reason is because you should not be coaching an 8 yr old and a 16 yr old the same about adversity. At the earlier ages, you are teaching them about what adversity is, and begin to introduce how to overcome it. At the High School level age group, players play to win – and adversity moves from learning about it, to specific skills of overcoming it. For the purpose of illustration, we’ll say that break is at 14 years old.

What You See vs What You Hear

Let’s start with some truths. Are you watching practice and games or not? If you aren’t, be careful of your coaching to athletes because you’re likely getting a slanted view from whoever is telling you of the adversity. If you’re not there to see if you child has an attitude, or not giving full effort, or goofing off, or being outworked – there could be more to the story. Remember, you’re the parent – not the coach. Let the coach coach, and the parent parent (unless the coach is crossing the line) and refrain from stepping in.

Game Time Is A Reward

At 14 and up, playing time is earned. Sometimes that’s showing up (rec) or performance in practice (comp). But it’s earned and assigned either way. If the coach is doing as they should – laying out expectations for game time – then let athletes earn their time. Help them understand the expectations, don’t ask the coach to lower them. At 14 and up, the coach should play the best players. If you want to play, put in the work. Less than 14, coaches are still to define what it takes to play in games. Although it’s a little more focused on development.

Game time allocation deserves a second paragraph – specifically for parents. As a parent, if your child wants playing time, invest in them. Don’t complain about it to coaches. Get them on a training schedule, help them practice outside of their 1-2 hour team practices. Help them develop as a player as best you know how. Find training videos on YouTube to work on their individual skills, make it a time to connect. Parents have a stake in game time allocation too, whether they believe it or not.

Supporting the Team is Protect the Dream Too

Speaking of parents, consider how you behave in the stands as an extension of your player’s commitment to the team. They didn’t get as much playing time as other athletes? How was your grand stand etiquette? How loud were you cheering for the team? These are your kid’s teammates. Help your athlete understand the value of cheering from the sidelines by showing them how to cheer from the stands. That’s what it’s about, and that’s what sports help to develop – character.

Sports Teaches Us Life

Sports isn’t fair sometimes, neither is life. Sometimes you do have to work extra to be noticed. Coach your athlete that it’s a good thing to be extra. Be the first one at practice and the first in line during drills. When you work, work hard. Give everything you have, all the time. Never be ok with mediocrity, everything worth having – you have to work for. Work so hard they have no choice but to play you, and respect you. Stand out by being extra. Extra supportive, extra encouraging, extra good at being a good teammate.

Not every kid’s goal is to win the state championship. But there are important lessons in sports that you can pull away and apply to life simply by leaning in a little. Adversity through things like playing time allocation is a great tool to coach your athlete through. Help them understand adversity, don’t enable them to quit. Coach them to work hard and overcome any obstacle in sports, even playing time. Those are the lessons and mentality that they will need to succeed outside of sports.

Give everything your everything. And then some.