Avoiding the Player Blame Game

Excuses and improvement can’t exist at the same time. Excuses are used to place blame and ignore what we really need: Improvement. Excuses delay our progress by letting our competitive pride get in the way. #DailyMight

One of my least favorite phrases used in sports is “yeah, but.” As in “Yeah, I know I made a mistake, but…” And honestly, whatever comes after that yeah, but I am not a fan of because most often it’s an excuse for poor performance. And when there’s an excuse, it means that improvement is limited. What good is a mistake if it doesn’t teach us something, right?

For some reason, something in all of us strongly resists admitting we did something wrong or incorrect. I know I still struggle with it, and I consider myself as a person who has a strong-self image. Imagine a child, who is just learning how to acknowledge making an error. How hard it must be to acknowledge an error, excuse free, and be able to learn from it. And more importantly, who that blame is guided to and why.

Blaming coaches.

There is a responsibility and a requirement for coaches to be knowledgeable and equipped to teach the game that they are trying to instruct in youth sports. Are we all experts yet? Well, that’s a big ask of mostly volunteer parents. However I do believe that most coaches and youth sports have a goal to improve the performance of the athletes they coach. That being said, coaching is a two way street. With good communication, it’s hard to imagine that blame can be placed on the inadequacies of coaches for athlete improvement. So when it does happen, it’s the easiest excuse.

Blaming teammates.

There is momentum building in youth sports that in order for players to improve, they must have great physically capable teammates around them. And although I don’t necessarily disagree with that notion, it is a catch 22. Improvement for me is self-driven. It’s OK if you are the best one out there, there are still opportunities within each drill, each practice, each game for you to improve your skill set intrinsically. That’s on the athlete. They are the ones that have to be self-driven to want to improve – so mistakes can be avoided.

Blaming the environment.

Too often I hear athletes blaming their training environment for lack of improvement (equipment, facilities, etc). It is the player’s responsibility to ensure that they are prepared to improve with each session. Mentally physically emotionally, and with good working equipment to do so. Bad weather, bad ice – sports teaches you about overcoming obstacles. Never let your athletes depend on obstacles to explain their lack of growth and improvement.

Successful athletes don’t focus on blame. They are too busy figuring out what the solution is. They are unwilling to pass responsibility for their own growth and improvement to anyone other than themselves. To learn from an error, you need to confess it, analyze it, and make adjustments so that it doesn’t happen again.

Give everything your everything. And then some.